Anniversaries
by sph9swc
Summary: Established T/Z. Ziva has been anticipating their first anniversary, but Tony has forgotten. Worse, he has no idea what he's done wrong. What happens next?


A/N: To anyone who's still following me, I'm really sorry I take so long to update, it's just that I rarely get the inspiration and the time both at once! Also, as you can see, I jump between fandoms a lot so these characters may not be what you wanted :(

* * *

Ziva is excited, although she would never show it by capering about the way Abby does, and in fact is doing her best to dampen down her emotions so she can sleep. Tomorrow, she and Tony will have been together for a year. _A strange thing, an anniversary, _she muses. Their relationship on the day of their anniversary will be no different from what it is today, nor from what it was yesterday, and it will be no different the day after. She knows this, and so she tells herself she is being silly. What is a year after all, but a stretch of time calculated and fixed by men? Why, if she based her calculations on the Hebrew calendar instead of the Western calendar, she would probably come up with an entirely different date for their anniversary.

In spite of these counter-arguments she keeps repeating to herself, she is excited nonetheless. She cannot help it. She has never celebrated an anniversary with a man before. Not with Michael, not with Ray… but she will not allow her thoughts to sail there now, she decides firmly.

Somehow, she has always been afraid that her inability to make a relationship last a full year is a sign. More proof that nothing is permanent and what she has worked for cannot last. Telling her that she has no right to true and lasting love, she who has destroyed so many other loves, though the lovers were villains in her eyes.

It has been a long day, and the warmth seeping into her body is making her eyelids heavier and heavier. Tomorrow, she thinks drowsily. Tomorrow she will know.

* * *

Tony is in a great mood. He stops at the coffee shop on his way in to work, and gets into a long conversation with the barista about the movie he watched with McGee last night. He hadn't expected to like it, to be honest. He'd watched the trailer and it was typical McGee, all about dwarves, elves and other geeky stuff. Oh and a hobbit, of course, mustn't forget the hobbit. He has a feeling that hobbit's gonna be important in the sequel, he tells the barista knowledgeably. Two days ago he had no idea what a hobbit was.

When he gets in to work, the others are already at their desks, aside from Gibbs. They're still finishing up paperwork from the last case, so it should be quiet today. Swinging over to Ziva, he gives her his usual _hey-there-beautiful_ kiss and asks what she was up to last night. After a quick chat with her, he then starts dissecting last night's movie for McGee. For once, he has an audience whose enthusiasm equals his own, and he glories in it. Maybe that's why he doesn't notice until later that Ziva hasn't said a word throughout his and McGee's animated discussion.

He begins to suspect something is up when he's tried several times to catch Ziva's eye across the bullpen and gets nada. The boss is back, so he can't ask her directly what's wrong. He fidgets until Gibbs barks an order at him to stay still, he's not a bloody puppy needing to go out. He makes an excuse to speak to her as soon as he can, but gets nothing out of it except the conviction that he's well and truly fucked up this time.

He racks his brains trying to think of what he's done. He knows he's being punished, that's for sure, so he must have done something. Did he inadvertently insult her? Did he say something he shouldn't have? Did he not say something he should have? Crap, he has nothing.

She disappears during lunch with barely a word of goodbye. He wonders momentarily if getting her flowers will fix it, then gives himself a mental slap. This is Ziva he's talking about, she's sure as hell worth more effort than a bunch of stupid flowers. No, he needs to figure out what's wrong.

That's why he corners McGee in the men's room, having thoroughly checked to make sure no one is there, especially not his girlfriend, who has the bad habit of lurking in men's restrooms. McGee has definitely noticed something's up, but he has no idea either. "Goddammit Tim, you're married for fuck's sake! I find it incredible as well, but that means you've got to know something about women!"

McGee shakes his head helplessly. "Tony, I'm married to a woman who talks at the speed of light about everything. She just _tells_ me what's wrong when I piss her off!"

Next thing he knows he's down in the lab with McGee, explaining everything to Abby. She purses her lips, looking away, and he knows that she knows what's wrong. "What is it?" he asks her desperately. "Come on Abs, I know I've messed up but I can fix it if you just tell me what it is."

"That would be cheating, Tony," she says with an innocent expression in her big brown eyes. No amount of arguing or pleading sways her, and he's about to threaten Major Mass Spec when she finally caves. "Okay, I can't tell you exactly but I can give you a hint. You've missed an important date."

She looks at him encouragingly, and he has a feeling she expects to see a lightbulb appear above his head. Important dates? His mind races through the possibilities. It's not either of their birthdays, or Tali's either. It's not Tali's, Ari's or her mother's anniversary. Not Kate's either, he always remembers hers. Wait, wait, anniversary? _Oh fuck._

"Our anniversary," he says slowly, looking up. "It's today, isn't it? Fuck, with everything that's been going on it completely slipped my mind." He just can't believe it. Sure, he's been busy lately with the case, and with… other things, but Ziva was on his mind the whole time. He can't believe he would forget something as important as their first anniversary. He supposes his only excuse is that he hasn't celebrated an anniversary or even thought about the things in a long, long time, not since Wendy.

"Well, you've had loads to do lately," offers Tim in an effort to be comforting, which dies out pretty quickly when he meets Abby's fierce glare.

Tony shakes his head. "That's not good enough, is it? I'll fix it though, I have to."

* * *

Ziva cannot bear to speak to Tony at the moment. He's attempted to talk to her at least a dozen times, but been rebuffed each time. She is not angry with him, or at least not half as angry as she is with herself, but she feels like a fool. She should not have expected anything. She does not even know whether Tony is the type of man who is in the habit of recognizing anniversaries. Perhaps he is one of those who believe that every day should be treated like an anniversary, so the actual anniversary is unimportant. She is a fool to expect so much of him. What does it matter, after all, when Tony loves her and is good to her, and she loves him? An anniversary doesn't mean anything. _Except that if he loves me that much, he should know that this is important. _The traitorous thought slinks into her brain, and she is no longer angry so much as hurt and upset, though she tells herself there is no reason for her to feel so. Nevertheless, she opts to stay late at work so that she does not have to leave with him. Gibbs is there and he knows something is up, but to her relief he does not say anything until it gets late, when he tells her to pack up and go home.

Sighing, she tries to shrug it off as she enters her apartment. Almost at once, she sees the tea lights. The only source of light in the dark room, they create a pathway of soft golden light, which leads, she can tell, to the kitchen. Fighting the hope that springs within her, she draws her weapon at the ready and checks that the room is clear before moving forwards, for she is Mossad and she is cautious. Not until she enters the kitchen and sees him there alone, does she drop her weapon.

The kitchen is bathed in candlelight as well, this time by tall candles in a menorah. It is the one she uses for Hannukah. Her eyes dart to it immediately, then back to his face. His gaze follows hers and he bites his lip. "I hope you don't mind. I Googled it and someone said it was okay to use menorahs on special occasions, like-uh- well, like anniversaries."

She nods, not trusting herself to speak. She does not understand. All she knows is that she is not in control here, and Ziva David dislikes not being in control. She does not know how to handle this. "Did you plan it this way to make me think you had forgotten?" she asks at last.

His answer is honest and brutal, but it is what she expects. "No."

She knows already, and she would have thought less of him if he had tried to lie to her.

He grabs her hand. "Look, Zi, I know I screwed up big time. I'm sorry. And even though it may not seem like it, I love you. I've always loved you. Please, you have to believe me." Before she can react, he's getting down on one knee before her and is pulling something out of his pocket. "Ziva, I know I messed up today. I can't promise that I will never hurt you again, 'cause we both know that I'm an idiot and it will happen. But I can promise you that I will never stop trying to make you happy. I will always fight for you, and I won't ever let go. I will always love you and I will always be here, every day for the rest of our lives, if you'll let me." He pauses, looking at her with love in his eyes, and she knows what his next words will be before he says them.

"No!" she exclaims loudly, startling herself. She backs away from him, heart thudding into her ribs. "Tony, you cannot do this."

The shock and anguish in his eyes crush her so she can barely get the next words out. She cannot let him speak or she will change her mind. The next words come tumbling out in a very un-Ziva manner. "Marriage - it should only be if you are very sure that you wish to spend the rest of your life with me, and that you love me. You think you love me now, but you are only proposing because you are sorry you forgot our anniversary, to make up for it, but that is not how it should be. You will regret asking me this, and you will be unhappy. I cannot- I will not- allow that to happen."

"Zi, that's not how it happened! I've known from the first time I kissed you- properly, I mean, not counting the undercover op- that you're the one. I want to spend the rest of my life with you, have babies if that's what you want, grow old together, bickering and fighting every step of the way but knowing that we love each other anyway. I want everyone to know that you're mine and no one else is getting a look in. I'm sorry I've been so out of it lately, but it's only because I've been planning this for weeks. I asked Gibbs for permission, got Abby to help pick the ring, everything!" He pauses for breath and suddenly deflates. "But it's no excuse for forgetting our anniversary." He hangs his head. How can he claim to love her, when he can't even get something as simple as an anniversary right? He wouldn't blame her for not believing him now.

Ziva looks at him, still kneeling on the cold floor dejectedly, and something in her softens. Going over to sit on the floor beside him, she lifts a hand to his face. "Tony," she says gently. "Look at me." He does. His green eyes meet hers, and the look in them makes her breath catch in her throat. She cannot explain it but somehow, even though the cautious, Mossad-assassin part of her wants to double-check his story with the rest of the team, she knows that she does not need to.

"I will kill you," she states matter-of-factly. His brow wrinkles in confusion and he begins to say something, but she continues as though he has not spoken. "I will break your neck with my bare hands, castrate you, and then feed it to the lions at the zoo- if you break your promise."

The crinkles around his eyes are more obvious when he begins to smile. "Only you could make me hard by threatening to castrate me, Zi," he says, glancing down at himself.

"I will also break all your DVDs and flush the pieces down the toilet," she informs him.

"No! Not the DVDs!" gasps Tony, clutching his chest in mock-dramatic fashion.

They look at each other and burst out laughing. He catches hold of her and wraps his arms around her, so tightly that she can hardly breathe. "Is that a yes?" he whispers into her ear.

"Yes- yes-!" she gasps.

He pulls away enough to slip the ring on her finger. Then they are kissing, and he is carrying her to the bedroom, where he proceeds to show her exactly why it is that she should never, ever castrate him.

**THE END**

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A/N: Thanks for reading! So was it good, bad or indifferent? It's my first NCIS fic (I think I mentioned I tend to hop through fandoms) so do the characters seem OOC?

Please do leave a review, they make me very very happy, and I promise to reply to every single one!


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